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I AM THE VERY MODEL OF A MODERN ANTHROPOSOPHIST

Posted in Uncategorized on December 25, 2012 by Hollywood Tomfortas

Ladies and gentlemen of the Steiner Internet Universe!

I humbly offer you now the opening lyrics of an anthroposophical song parody that I have composed.  Again, with all bashfulness and modesty, I must say that it is a song parody of the deepest and most profound “World Historical Significance” (WHS) in the entire evolutionary development of humanity in the modern world to date.  Why is this event of such deep WHS?  Because the original song that I have parodied was performed at its New York City premiere on Broadway in 1879, yes, indeed, 1879 AD, in the very same year that the guiding spirit of anthroposophy, the Archangel Mi-cha-el was promoted from his hierarchical level of Archangel to the next level office of Archai or Time Spirit, i.e. Zeitgeist.

The music for the original song was created by the British composer of Irish-Italian descent, Sir Arthur Seymour Sullivan (1842–1900) and the lyrics created by famed librettist, Sir William Schwenck Gilbert (1836–1911).

The song I have parodied is from their most popular opera “The Pirates of Penzance.”

and is entitled “I am the Very Model of a Modern Major General.”

(And at this point, my dear friends, I bid you to familiarize yourselves with the original song by clicking on the three links I provide for you here. Once you master the rhythm and cadence of the original you will be prepared to sing my version.)

YouTube Video of an actual stage performance
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hlTisI_HSgw

YouTube video with lyrics printed to sing along
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wYZM__VdEjk

Typed out lyrics
http://www.naic.edu/~gibson/poems/gilbert1.html

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“I AM THE VERY MODEL OF A MODERN ANTHROPOSOPHIST.”

Music composed by A.S. Sullivan, original lyrics by W.S. Gilbert,

Parodied lyrics of deepest WHS by Tom Mellett

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MODERN ANTHROPOSOPHIST:

I am the very model of a modern Anthroposophist,

I’ve information mineral, etheric, astral, egoist.

Atlantis and Lemuria, the Mystery of Golgotha,

With Ahriman and Lucifer, the science of the spiritual.

CHORUS:

Atlantis and Lemuria, the Mystery of Golgotha,

With Ahriman and Lucifer, the science of the spiritual.

MODERN ANTHROPOSOPHIST:

I visit Dornach every year as if it were the Vatican

The Goetheanum is my temple though I am American

I don’t know that much German but I want to keep on learnin’

And my heart is really yearnin’ knowin’ Steiner is returnin’.

CHORUS:

He doesn’t know much German but he wants to keep on learnin’

And his heart is really yearnin’ knowin’ Steiner is returnin’.

MODERN ANTHROPOSOPHIST:

I want to save the world from Ahriman and his materialism

But then I get so caught up in my Luciferic egotism

I never know what I should do, the feelings that I should imbue

What Steiner says, it must be true. The Christ Impulse? I have no clue!

CHORUS:

He never knows what he should do, the feelings that he should imbue

What Steiner says, it must be true. The Christ Impulse? He has no clue!

In short, in matters mineral, etheric, astral, egoist

He is the very model of a modern Anthroposophist.

MODERN ANTHROPOSOPHIST:

I see the elementals in the forest when I meditate

The gnomes and sylphs and undines, salamanders in the aggregate.

I don’t know what they want of me, this might just be insanity

But Steiner teaches me to see behind the veil of reality.

CHORUS:

I don’t know what they want of me, this might just be insanity

But Steiner teaches me to see behind the veil of reality.

MODERN ANTHROPOSOPHIST:

I’ve done the exercises to attain my equanimity

But when a critic comes around in any close proximity

I hesitate and vacillate, I complicate and obfuscate

Deny that Steiner said it — hey, that’s all I can communicate.

CHORUS:

He hesitates and vacillates, he complicates and obfuscates

Denies that Steiner said it — hey, that’s all he can communicate.

In short, in matters mineral, etheric, astral, egoist,

He is the very model of a modern Anthroposophist.

MODERN ANTHROPOSOPHIST:

Philosophy of Freedom is a book I’ve never, ever read

To think about my thinking makes me sick and achy in the head

I’d rather reincarnate as a woman or a refugee

Than ever have to read a book about epistemology.

CHORUS:

He’d rather reincarnate as a woman or a refugee

Than ever have to read a book about epistemology.

MODERN ANTHROPOSOPHIST:

[slower tempo here, getting wistful]

The three-fold nature of the human being is a mystery . . .

And so are all the moves and gestures that I make eurythmically. . . .

The critics tell me Steiner is a madman and a racist, too. . . .

His medicine is quackery, his claims of science just woo woo. . . .

But all I care about is finding which of four’s my temperament, . ..

So I can know my destiny and finally reach enlightenment . . .

[back to quick tempo for finale]

I don’t know if I’m sanguine or choleric, melancholic

So I must be a phlegmatic ‘cause I am a chocoholic.

CHORUS:

He doesn’t know if sanguine or choleric, melancholic

So he must be a phlegmatic ‘cause he is a chocoholic.

MODERN ANTHROPOSOPHIST:

In short in matters mineral, etheric, astral, egoist

I am the very model of a modern Anthroposophist.

CHORUS:

In short, in matters mineral, etheric, astral, egoist

He is the very model of a modern Anthroposophist.

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